Confide in your heart is one of the most important needs for everyone. Especially when facing a serious problem, confide in can help ease the burden of the mind we feel. Generally, we will confide in those closest to us, for example friends.
But what if when you want to confide in, your friends even seem reluctant to listen to your confide? Does that mean they are not good friends? Not necessarily. Could be, their reluctance is caused by your own doing. The following five examples of behavior can make your friends so unwilling to listen to your confide. Have you ever done it?
1. Always focus on yourself
If your friends are reluctant to listen to your confide, try to remember what chat topics you usually talk about with them all this time. Does the conversation that comes out of your mouth always revolve around you and your world? If your friend is talking about his interests, do you immediately shift the topic of the chat to your own interests?
If you do things like that often, don’t blame your friends if they become lazy listening to your confide. Remember, this world is not just about you. Try to focus more often on other people and their world, then surely they will be happy to listen when you want to confide.
2. Do not listen to confide in others
This one seems pretty clear. If you don’t want to listen when your friends are venting, don’t be surprised if they are too lazy to listen to your confide. The principle is do what you want others to do to you. So if you want to confide in you to be heard, of course you also have to want to listen to your friends’ vent.
Also Read: 6 Reasons Your Friends Don’t Always Give Good Responses When You Confide
3. Only come when you need it
Confide in is the need of everyone, including you. But will you come over to your friends only when you need to confide in? For example, do you spend more time with your partner, and only come to your friends when you are fighting with your partner?
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Friendship relationships shouldn’t work like that. If you only come when you need it, it’s natural for your friends to be lazy to deal with you. Never mind listening to you vent, maybe he even no longer wants to be friends with you! Be a good friend, then your friend will be happy to help you.
4. Don’t listen when given advice
Imagine this situation: Your friend confides in you about his girlfriend who likes to hit. You feel sorry for him and advise him to break the relationship. But he did not want to do it because he was still in love. He also continued to experience violence from his girlfriend, and every time he was certain he would confide in you. But still, your advice to break up he never did.
If that keeps happening, do you still want to listen to her confide? Most likely not. Yes, that’s what can be felt by someone who is inspired by others. He might give suggestions for a way out of the problem. But if his advice was always ignored, surely he would be lazy too long to listen to vent again.
So if you confide in and your friend gives advice for your good, listen to that advice. Don’t always insist on your own opinion, because that can upset your friend. Finally, you are the one who loses if he becomes lazy to listen to your feelings again?
5. You confide in him too often
After vent, you must feel relieved. The friend you are looking for is also likely to feel happy because it can help. But did you know that listening to confide can also add to the burden of thought?
Yes, when listening to your vent, your friends automatically come to think about the problem you are having. He may also be sad or worried, and must think about how to help you. Imagine if you often confide in him, surely the burden of his mind will be even more, right?
So if your friend usually likes to listen to your confide, but eventually gets reluctant, maybe the problem is because you confide in him too often. The solution? Try to confide in a different person, not only him. Thus you will not add too much burden on your friends.
That’s five mistakes that can make your friends lazy to listen to your vent. So, if you want to be listened to when venting, stop making that mistake!
Also Read: 5 Bad Impacts If You Often Confide in Social Media, Stop It Immediately!
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